Driving Quotes

Walking isn’t a lost art — one must, by some means, get to the garage.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, “In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.”

And I, I took the road less traveled by. I was using a GPS system.

The car has become… an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete.

Take most people, they’re crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, and they’re always talking about how many miles they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand-new car already they start thinking about trading it in for one that’s even newer. I don’t even like old cars. I mean they don’t even interest me. I’d rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God’s sake.

For every “Drive Safely” sign, shouldn’t there be a “Resume Normal Driving” sign?

Most of American life consists of driving somewhere and then returning home, wondering why the hell you went.

It helps if you don’t see it as traffic but rather as thousands of individuals resolved to press on another day.

Road rage is the expression of the amateur sociopath in all of us, cured by running into a professional.

Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.